Sunday, May 17, 2015

Wait No More Update

Yesterday started out as our typical Saturday morning with the girls waking early and asking to watch cartoons.  We, sleepy parents asking, "is your bed made?"  Followed by the sound of swift feet returning to their rooms to attend to their daily duty.  Because Matt is the world's greatest husband and daddy, he rolls out of bed and follows his weekly ritual of making chocolate chip pancakes.  The best part is he lets me sleep in!  Ah, he knows my love language!  Saturday mornings usually includes a family outing, but there was a twist to our routine, instead of rummaging or browsing farmer's markets we were in the car arriving at church, early?  Okay we usually attend church on Sundays and always are at least five minutes late.  Today was a special day because today was the Wait No More conference at Elmbrook Church and our whole family was excited to be there.  Even Matt, who speaks few words and shows little emotion despite his sensitive heart.   Several years ago I would have never thought that we would be on the verge of this incredible adventure.  I used to pray, "God if it is your will that I be an adopted mother then change Matt's heart, but if otherwise take the desire away from mine."  When the opportunity arose three years ago with Matt mentioning he'd be open to the idea of fostering a child, my prayer changed.  "God keep changing his heart." Even though Matt had not fully committed to the idea of foster adoption, he didn't take it off the discussion table.  Over the past few years I have pushed, nagged, yelled, cried, sometimes a combination, and finally surrendered it to God. The desire of my heart didn't dissipate, but I was going to have to trust God's plan instead of my own.  Once again God was reminding me of the verse I am sure He wrote just for me, "Be still and know I am God." or in my case "Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10.  If I continued to push Matt, one of us would change our minds leaving the other bitter. I wanted this to be a pure untainted decision we made together, and that meant sharing my heart with Matt, praying, and then trusting him to make the right decision for our family.  I would just have to wait for Matt decision...

Waiting is hard for me; waiting for something I desire even harder. There I was waiting, I set my household in order as God designed it and submitted to my husband's leadership.  Matt is the most content man I have ever met, and he is really good at waiting.  So I imagined that I might be waiting a long time.  There is no coincidence that as soon as I surrendered to God's plan, He set it in motion.  Over the past few months I have observed changes in Matt's heart.  At first I was very hesitant to believe what I was hearing, as if I was guarding my heart from disappointment.  I should have know that Matt wouldn't dangle a carrot in front of a race horse.  He knows that when I set my mind on something  charge after it, but this time I would stay a step or two behind him on our journey.  My husband is now leading me in this journey when I thought I would have to strive through it.  And now were were attending Wait No More, because we truly believe God has called us to be some precious gift's forever family.    

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